Money Cant Buy Happiness Honey...When Will You Learn?

So part of my family is rich. Big house, fancy stuff, spoiled rotten. My immediate family is the exact opposite. Yesterday was my cousins sweet sixteen...they went all out...spent roughly over $4,000. that money could have been better spent on other things. but any ways...she invited me and two other girls that don't go to her school. the three of us hung out the whole night. completely ignored by my cousin and today? well today she tried using us as personal butlers! ah man. some people are just too stuck up.

when i get older, i want to be a fashion designer. i want to make people happy with my designs. i don't want to be rich. i would love to be successful, but I'm not going to spend tons of money on things that are un-necessary. splurging on something every now and then is fine...everyone deserves a treat now and then, but I'm not going to throw cash away for things i don't need. i want to start a suicide prevention charity, and an animal charity and something for under privileged children in third world countries...i want to make a difference.

next summer for instance. my cousin is going on a trip to Italy and Greece for the shopping. I'm going to a third world country or the Galapagos to do either volunteer environmental work or helping build a school or homeless shelter and teach under privileged children English.

helping people is what makes me happy. i don't need material objects. i hope this little blog article inspired you to make a difference....even if its small

so my lovelies...I'm asking you this...challenge yourself to some self improvement;
eat better, exercise, walk places instead of driving, discover local talent/shops/treasures, enjoy the simple pleasures in life, and go out and do some volunteer work!

I, myself have done a bit...i helped mentally challenged children ride horses for rehabilitation...it was a truly touching experience!

oh man.

well. I've gone and done it again. Fallen for someone. but this time, unusually hard. why some may say this is a good thing. To me its good and bad. hes my best friends ex. shit. i really like him...like potentially love him.it wasn't supposed to happen. we were just supposed to be friends. then we were hanging out and started play wrestling. our eyes met. he pulled me close and put his arm around me and i rested my head on his chest. "you comfy?" he said. "yea" i replied blushing and smiling. "thats good, because im happy when your in my arms" he said. i looked up and smiled. he looked down at me and smiled. then it happened. we kissed. we kept kissing and cuddling and play wrestling and holding eachother the whole night. never once did he make a move to go further. his hand was on my bare knee(i was wearing shorts) and he looked at me sincerily and said "is my hand to high up your leg? i dont want to make you uncomfortable or make you feel like im trying to get anything, because im not...i just want you in my arms" aawww! he almost brought me to tears with that. never have i met a guy other than family who respected me that much. now, im in deep thought. how do i tell my friend? she has moved on since him but still...i feel its the right thing to tell her.

any suggestions? it would be oh so very appreciated!

is there a lost and found for hearts someplace?

It seems that maintaining a healthy relationship in high school is impossible. In my whole school, there is about three couples that have lasted a year+. I always find myself helping my friends with their relationship situations. Everything from advice to the sex talk, they come to me. Just recently, there has been what seems to be a plague of breakups around the school. I, myself was a victim. I had been dating a guy from another school up until Friday of last week. On Friday, I was having a girls night with three of my best friends, when i got the text. After the text came the call making sure i got the text. In the text, he confessed to cheating on me multiple times. Ouch. Not even five hours later, whilst checking my face book, I stumbled upon his new relationship status in my news feed. That bastard is now dating a FORMER friend of mine. Also in the breakup text i received he stated i was too "weird" for him, and that he needed to be single for a while. Weird? The girl he is dating now has half blue and half white hair, she changed her face book name to the name of a Japanese singer, and is overly obsessed with Japanese people. And single? In the words of Chicago's cell block tango, single my ass!

But any how, back to the said "plague" of breakups at my school. A close friend of mine was dating my second cousin. Today I took a long walk with my ex, and best friend as I snapped a few pictures for art class and we chatted about relationships. When i returned home, I checked my face book and the first thing i see on my news feed is that they broke up. This guy was her first love. She had her first time with him. She would do anything in the world for him. Shes completely devastated about this breakup. Back to my walk with my ex, we walked and talked, and things felt like the good old times. It was a gorgeous day, and I was happy to be walking along side him. We talked about  our former relationship, that both of us still cling onto a bit. I still have feelings for him, but I'm not sure how he feels about me. I'm too nervous to ask. I think he does, but I will save the asking for another day.

wednessday may 4th, 2011 : a random journal script

I see you from across the room,
My heart once broken rises one thousand miles.

Your smile makes me weak in the knees and i don't know what to do,
You pull me close,
But its not the same,
As when you used to whisper "i love you"

This time last year,
It was you and me.

Now our eyes meet,
And i don't know what to do,
Because all i want to do is kiss you and whisper i love you.

But your with her now,
I always sit and ponder.
Just wondering if I'm ever going to get over you,
But I'm telling you now,
I don't ever want to